CHEZ HEALING ARTS
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The (lost) Art of Conversation

1/11/2015

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This morning I awoke with this thought...'My Dad has lost the art of conversation'. This gift that we all take for granted has ended his 64 year marriage and isolates him from others. 
We, his family were too frightened to answer him back or share our opinions & perspective with him if it was different to his.  We all wanted to please him so much that we either went along with what he said or we kept quiet.  This act of self preservation on our behalf has aided him to lose the art of conversation.  If we did have a different opinion or disagreed with him he would get louder, more abusive and so worked up that you would just back down or walk away.  We often just left Mum to cop the abuse as we snuck away hoping he didn't notice we had done so.  He saw himself as the head of the household & felt that it was only his views and opinions that mattered. When he talked, you listened!
So, he talked, we listened. This is how you have a conversation with my Dad.  This has always been the way.  This has, I feel, also caused him to become deaf. How perfect!  Now, he has an excuse not to listen to anything you have to say.  His deafness and his refusal to wear hearing aids makes it so difficult for you to talk to him that you give up.  So, you just listen to him and don't contribute too much to the conversation because it is way to tiring.  When he does talk, it's not really a conversation anyway, it is more just a set of opinions and complaints about everything and anything.  He has very little if anything positive to say about the world or it's people.  His true joy is in talking about the past and HIS past experiences.  We have heard many of his stories, over and over in fact.  Once again, because we can not offer our perspective it is all purely about him and his life.
At 87, it is hard, maybe even impossible for him to change now.  But I see where, how and why I have contributed to this lost art of conversation.  Yesterday, I went to  visit him in hospital.  I stood at the door way for a couple of seconds and looked at him before he noticed I was there.  I felt love for him and thought he looked quite serene and well.  It was only when we started to converse that the awkwardness and unease surfaced.  No hearing aids.  I have to raise my voice and repeat myself.  He asked questions about Mum and tried to listen, but I found myself not wanting to say too much because it was too much hard work and I don't like yelling when the room is full of others trying to rest in their beds. The doctor came around and I had to interpret everything because he was a "quiet talker'.  Then when Dad found out he couldn't go home, he started to bitch and complain about the shower.  I showed him how to make it work for him, but he wouldn't take it in.  So, what did I do?  I shut down, listened to him complain for a while, said I have to go and I walked away.  It is too hard, he won't listen, it's sad really.
I now see why I am such a good listener and why I find it difficult to talk about myself & what I do.  I am going the opposite way, I am in danger of losing this wonderful art of conversation.  Too much listening and not enough contributing, tipping the scales in the opposite direction.  So interesting isn't it?...answer me! hahaha..
With 'smart phones' we are surely in danger of this art dying all together as we text or message each other on facebook instead of having real conversations.  I too am guilty of this and sometimes I just crave a person to person conversation.  May we all find balance with this art.  May we all be contributors so that we can share our stories, listen to others stories and learn as much as we teach. 
How do I tell my Dad he has lost the art of conversation, and we, his family helped him to lose it.  Do you think he will understand? Do you think he will listen?  The thought of broaching him with this conversation causes butterflies in my stomach.  Hmmm...maybe a conversation for another day.
Namaste.

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    Please enjoy my offerings of poetry and my creative perspective on subjects that matter to me. I hope you  find value and enjoy reading. 
    Namaste.
    ​Chez xo

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Chez Healing Arts is based in Redbank Plains, Brisbane Qld, Australia. 

Terribly Terrific Testimonials.

(Keisha commissioned me to create a special wedding gift for her dear friend). -"Dreaming Heart is beautiful. I cried when I met her, she's the perfect gift".

(Cathy purchased Sweet Dream Catchers for herself & as gifts for friends) -
​ "Hey Chez, it just arrived this arvo! It's BEAUTIFUL! I love it. It is sooo her it's scary! U have a great gift as mine was perfect for me & Holly's is perfect for her! Thank you so much!

​(Kellie purchased Shiva/Shakti for her bedroom as a gift to herself.)
 "I wanted a special something for my bedroom wall. As soon as I saw Chez's work, I knew I had to have one of my own!  Shiva/Shakti is big & so is the energy it captures! There is so much perfect symbolism in every part of it.  I turn to it to help guide my feminine & masculine attributes & to bring deep awareness & balance into my relationship with my husband. Thank you Chez, it fills my heart with joy to have this in our sacred sleeping, loving space".
Suzie wanted to offer her young daughter a gift to help her sleep peacefully.
Hi Chez, Here is a pic of Sierra with her Faery House Dreamcatcher which she loves. We've had two beautiful nights with her sleeping really well. Your note to Sierra about the Dreamcatcher was just Divine. Thank you for making such a wise and magical piece for her. - Suzie 

Hi Chez,
I received my dreamcatcher....love it love it. The funny thing is for the last couple of weeks I have been talking about peacocks and wow its in my dream catcher,  very insightful. Thank you so much, hangs very proudly in our bedroom. ~ Karen

(Kerri commissioned an Art Piece for her daughter's 21st birthday.) "My girl Tianah loves loves loves it!!! She clutched her heart and said WOW!!!" Many many thanks.

(Susan,Owner/Principal of Wild Places Yoga).​ "I receive so many  comments from students who are captivated by the energy your Dream Catchers hold". 
(Carrie-Anne, Principal of My Health Yoga purchased a custom made Outdoors Dream Catcher for her partner). - "Chris loves the Dream Catcher! He is blown away!! So many beautiful details, this piece will continue to reveal itself for many years to come. You are truly amazing, Chez!"

(Cath, an interior Designer commissioned me to create Eagle Warrior II). 
​"Hi Chez,
I have her on the wall above my workspace!
She looks beautiful!
Thank you so much - It feels so good with her there - I am soaking up her energy!
I have your business cards also thanks - they are beautiful too!
I also love the new one in the studio - Freedom. That may be next!" x Cath

Loved my barefoot forest dream catcher as soon as I opened the box. Perfect for our newly built family room to remind us of our love of bush walking. Many thanks, Nicola.

(Donna purchased 2 pieces now)
"Art that brings continuous inspiration & joy, each piece saturated with intention, love, creative purpose & spiritual gifts. I think Chez is an astonishing artist of nature". xx
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  • Welcome Home
  • About
  • Healing Art Store
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